Thumper
07-28-2016, 07:09 PM
Ha! Just a play on words, sorry. :D
The title should read something more like "Getting Old Sucks Big Weenies" ... or something similar.
I mentioned here earlier that during the past few years, I've started experiencing a bit of memory loss. It was the normal stuff at first, but it seems to be getting progressively worse ... until Lynn finally called my (VA) doctor to discuss it. The thing I have not mentioned here is that I've been going through a bit of mild depression also. Not too terribly much, but more like (IMO) feeling sorry for myself in some ways. I've sold off all my guns and no longer hunt. I couldn't tell you the last time I went fishing. Not that I'm much of a fisherman, but I used to make regular trips to Canada for a week or two of walleye/Northern Pike fishing. That all came to a stop after my illness. I have a shed that's stuffed full ... riding mower, weed eaters, weed whackers, blowers, various garden tools, etc. BUT ... for the last 8 years, I've actually been paying somebody to do the yard for me. I have a pool that's nothing but a catfish pond these days. Although I owned a pressure cleaning company for 20 years, my house is turning green and getting covered with cobwebs. The driveway, walks and pool deck are a nice basic black these days. I'm a lot like P-hole in that I can't STAND paying someone else to do something I can do myself, but I'm simply not capable any more. Heck, I even have a toilet with a wax ring that's leaking and I can't lift the toilet to replace it! It's SUPER frustrating. The list goes on and on, I'm just no longer capable of doing many things I've always done myself and I keep putting it off due to pure stubbornness. I LOVE traveling ... but I absolutely HATE traveling like a "normal" tourist ... but I've been relegated to "old fart cruises" and short weekend trips to some nearby beach resort. I no longer remove my shirt in public as my front side looks like I was set on fire and someone put me out with a pitchfork. My back looks like I 'rassled an alligator ... and LOST! I'm weak and in constant pain ... no more hiking the jungles of Burma or the mountains of Laos or purchasing a small boat from a villager for a crazy trip down the Mekong while sleeping in little village huts along the way. :(
Add the fact I'm getting grayer/balder, fatter, fuglier, I dribble pee in my pants and my dick quit getting hard ... well, you get the picture. I'm getting old and take a boatload of frigging pills on a daily basis just to keep things working properly ... or as well as possible anyway. WTF is there to be depressed about?
Anyway, I met with a Psychologist a couple weeks ago who pretty much "evaluated" me, then told me there were enough red flags that she ordered an MRI of my brain and set up an appointment with a team of Geriatric Psychologists (hence today's appointment). I went through a half day of interviews and testing ... the determination? With the physical/mental signs and verification of the MRI, I have "White Matter Disease"! "WTF IS THAT", I asked? It was explained to me and it shows on the MRI .... BUT, they told me not to worry too much about it as a lot of "OLD FARTS" get it and it's a fairly normal part of the aging process. I then asked if ALL old farts experience it and was told, well, no, not persactly ... but again was told no to worry too much about it. THEN they said they're going to recommend I see a psychiatrist to address the depression and most likely start on some MILD medication to help me. I fought that a bit, but between the docs and Lynn, was convinced to go through with it. Oh, I forgot to mention I've had a bit of a short fuse the past year or so and go from zero to about elebenty-bazillion on the "pissed off-o-meter" rather easily. It seems this is part of the "white matter disease" as well as general frustration and depression that I'm going through. They're going to contact me with an appointment date.
Well, damn, this is turning into a "Thump post", sorry ... but I guess laying it all out there among long-term friends is a bit of therapy for me. If'n you want to learn sumpin' new, here's what "white matter disease" means. Wow, that's exciting, I'm now an official Pumphead with White Matter Disease! Sheeesh! Where does it end? :(
http://www.uhn.ca/corporate/News/Pages/what_is_white_matter_disease.aspx
The title should read something more like "Getting Old Sucks Big Weenies" ... or something similar.
I mentioned here earlier that during the past few years, I've started experiencing a bit of memory loss. It was the normal stuff at first, but it seems to be getting progressively worse ... until Lynn finally called my (VA) doctor to discuss it. The thing I have not mentioned here is that I've been going through a bit of mild depression also. Not too terribly much, but more like (IMO) feeling sorry for myself in some ways. I've sold off all my guns and no longer hunt. I couldn't tell you the last time I went fishing. Not that I'm much of a fisherman, but I used to make regular trips to Canada for a week or two of walleye/Northern Pike fishing. That all came to a stop after my illness. I have a shed that's stuffed full ... riding mower, weed eaters, weed whackers, blowers, various garden tools, etc. BUT ... for the last 8 years, I've actually been paying somebody to do the yard for me. I have a pool that's nothing but a catfish pond these days. Although I owned a pressure cleaning company for 20 years, my house is turning green and getting covered with cobwebs. The driveway, walks and pool deck are a nice basic black these days. I'm a lot like P-hole in that I can't STAND paying someone else to do something I can do myself, but I'm simply not capable any more. Heck, I even have a toilet with a wax ring that's leaking and I can't lift the toilet to replace it! It's SUPER frustrating. The list goes on and on, I'm just no longer capable of doing many things I've always done myself and I keep putting it off due to pure stubbornness. I LOVE traveling ... but I absolutely HATE traveling like a "normal" tourist ... but I've been relegated to "old fart cruises" and short weekend trips to some nearby beach resort. I no longer remove my shirt in public as my front side looks like I was set on fire and someone put me out with a pitchfork. My back looks like I 'rassled an alligator ... and LOST! I'm weak and in constant pain ... no more hiking the jungles of Burma or the mountains of Laos or purchasing a small boat from a villager for a crazy trip down the Mekong while sleeping in little village huts along the way. :(
Add the fact I'm getting grayer/balder, fatter, fuglier, I dribble pee in my pants and my dick quit getting hard ... well, you get the picture. I'm getting old and take a boatload of frigging pills on a daily basis just to keep things working properly ... or as well as possible anyway. WTF is there to be depressed about?
Anyway, I met with a Psychologist a couple weeks ago who pretty much "evaluated" me, then told me there were enough red flags that she ordered an MRI of my brain and set up an appointment with a team of Geriatric Psychologists (hence today's appointment). I went through a half day of interviews and testing ... the determination? With the physical/mental signs and verification of the MRI, I have "White Matter Disease"! "WTF IS THAT", I asked? It was explained to me and it shows on the MRI .... BUT, they told me not to worry too much about it as a lot of "OLD FARTS" get it and it's a fairly normal part of the aging process. I then asked if ALL old farts experience it and was told, well, no, not persactly ... but again was told no to worry too much about it. THEN they said they're going to recommend I see a psychiatrist to address the depression and most likely start on some MILD medication to help me. I fought that a bit, but between the docs and Lynn, was convinced to go through with it. Oh, I forgot to mention I've had a bit of a short fuse the past year or so and go from zero to about elebenty-bazillion on the "pissed off-o-meter" rather easily. It seems this is part of the "white matter disease" as well as general frustration and depression that I'm going through. They're going to contact me with an appointment date.
Well, damn, this is turning into a "Thump post", sorry ... but I guess laying it all out there among long-term friends is a bit of therapy for me. If'n you want to learn sumpin' new, here's what "white matter disease" means. Wow, that's exciting, I'm now an official Pumphead with White Matter Disease! Sheeesh! Where does it end? :(
http://www.uhn.ca/corporate/News/Pages/what_is_white_matter_disease.aspx