Big Muddy
11-24-2014, 01:29 PM
THE PASTOR ASKED IF ANYONE IN THE CONGREGATION WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS PRAISE FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS._
_SUZIE SMITH STOOD AND WALKED TO THE PODIUM. SHE SAID, "I HAVE A PRAISE POINT. TWO MONTHS AGO, MY HUSBAND, DAVE, HAD A TERRIBLE MOTOR-CYCLE ACCIDENT AND HIS SCROTUM WAS COMPLETELY CRUSHED. THE PAIN WAS EXCRUCIATING AND THE DOCTORS DIDN'T KNOW IF THEY COULD HELP HIM."_
_YOU COULD HEAR A MUFFLED GASP FROM THE MEN IN THE CONGREGATION AS THEY IMAGINED THE PAIN THAT POOR DAVE MUST HAVE EXPERIENCED. _
_" DAVE WAS UNABLE TO HOLD ME OR THE CHILDREN," SHE WENT ON, "AND EVERY MOVE CAUSED HIM TERRIBLE PAIN. WE PRAYED AS THE DOCTORS PERFORMED A DELICATE OPERATION, AND IT TURNED OUT THEY WERE ABLE TO PIECE TOGETHER THE CRUSHED REMNANTS OF DAVE'S SCROTUM, AND WRAP WIRE AROUND IT TO HOLD IT IN PLACE."_
_AGAIN, THE MEN IN THE CONGREGATION CRINGED AND SQUIRMED UNCOMFORTABLY AS THEY IMAGINED THE HORRIBLE SURGERY PERFORMED ON DAVE._
_"NOW," SHE ANNOUNCED IN A QUIVERING VOICE, "THANK THE LORD, DAVE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTORS SAY THAT WITH TIME, HIS SCROTUM SHOULD RECOVER COMPLETELY."_
_ALL THE MEN SIGHED WITH UNIFIED RELIEF. _
_THE PASTOR ROSE AND TENTATIVELY ASKED IF ANYONE ELSE HAD SOMETHING TO SAY._
_A MAN STOOD UP AND WALKED SLOWLY TO THE PODIUM. _
_HE SAID, "I'M DAVE." THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION HELD ITS BREATH. "I JUST WANT_ to tell my wife the word is sternum."
_SUZIE SMITH STOOD AND WALKED TO THE PODIUM. SHE SAID, "I HAVE A PRAISE POINT. TWO MONTHS AGO, MY HUSBAND, DAVE, HAD A TERRIBLE MOTOR-CYCLE ACCIDENT AND HIS SCROTUM WAS COMPLETELY CRUSHED. THE PAIN WAS EXCRUCIATING AND THE DOCTORS DIDN'T KNOW IF THEY COULD HELP HIM."_
_YOU COULD HEAR A MUFFLED GASP FROM THE MEN IN THE CONGREGATION AS THEY IMAGINED THE PAIN THAT POOR DAVE MUST HAVE EXPERIENCED. _
_" DAVE WAS UNABLE TO HOLD ME OR THE CHILDREN," SHE WENT ON, "AND EVERY MOVE CAUSED HIM TERRIBLE PAIN. WE PRAYED AS THE DOCTORS PERFORMED A DELICATE OPERATION, AND IT TURNED OUT THEY WERE ABLE TO PIECE TOGETHER THE CRUSHED REMNANTS OF DAVE'S SCROTUM, AND WRAP WIRE AROUND IT TO HOLD IT IN PLACE."_
_AGAIN, THE MEN IN THE CONGREGATION CRINGED AND SQUIRMED UNCOMFORTABLY AS THEY IMAGINED THE HORRIBLE SURGERY PERFORMED ON DAVE._
_"NOW," SHE ANNOUNCED IN A QUIVERING VOICE, "THANK THE LORD, DAVE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTORS SAY THAT WITH TIME, HIS SCROTUM SHOULD RECOVER COMPLETELY."_
_ALL THE MEN SIGHED WITH UNIFIED RELIEF. _
_THE PASTOR ROSE AND TENTATIVELY ASKED IF ANYONE ELSE HAD SOMETHING TO SAY._
_A MAN STOOD UP AND WALKED SLOWLY TO THE PODIUM. _
_HE SAID, "I'M DAVE." THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION HELD ITS BREATH. "I JUST WANT_ to tell my wife the word is sternum."